What is Consent?

Consent means actively agreeing to take part in something. In sex and intimacy, it means everyone involved genuinely wants to be there and understands what they are agreeing to.

Consent is not silence.
Consent is not “they didn’t say no.”
Consent is not assumed because of flirting, past sex, a relationship, or how someone is dressed.

Consent is about choice. It should feel clear, willing, and free from pressure.

What Consent looks like in real life

Consent does not have to sound formal or scripted. It often shows up as simple, everyday communication.

It can sound like:

• “Do you like this?”

• “Want to keep going?”

• “Is this okay?”

• “Tell me if you want to change anything”

It can also be shown through body language, enthusiasm, and participation. If someone seems tense, quiet, withdrawn, or unsure, that’s a sign to pause and check in.

Real consent feels mutual. Both people are choosing it, not just allowing it.

Consent is Ongoing

Consent is not a one-time agreement. It can change at any point.

Someone can say yes at the start and no later.
Someone can change their mind halfway through.
Someone can want one thing but not another.

Stopping does not require a reason or explanation. A change of mind is enough.

Good sex includes space to slow down, pause, or stop without fear of disappointment or punishment

When Consent is Not Possible

Consent cannot be given if someone is:

• Asleep or unconscious

• Extremely intoxicated or unable to think clearly

• Feeling pressured, scared, or coerced

• Afraid of consequences if they say no

If someone is not fully present or able to choose freely, consent is not there.

Being unsure means stop. Being drunk or high does not mean available. Being in a relationship does not mean automatic access.

Consent in Sex Positive Spaces

Some spaces have their own codes, rhythms, and ways of communicating interest. Cruising areas, saunas, sex parties, and apps can feel freer and more direct than mainstream spaces. That freedom can be powerful, but it still relies on consent to work.

In many of these spaces, consent is communicated through eye contact, body language, proximity, or mutual engagement rather than words. That can be fine, as long as everyone involved feels comfortable and able to opt in or out.

Interest is not consent. Curiosity is not consent. Being in a sexual space does not mean someone is available.

A lack of response, turning away, tensing up, or not engaging back is a no. The respectful move is to stop, step back, and move on without comment or pressure.

Touch should match the context. What feels normal in a dark room or sex-positive space may not be appropriate in a bar, on a dance floor, or at Pride. When in doubt, pause and check in.

Consent also applies between people who already know each other. Past hookups, flirtation, or sexual history do not guarantee access. Every encounter is its own moment.

These spaces work best when people look out for each other. Stepping in when someone looks uncomfortable, respecting “no” without drama, and contributing to an environment where people can leave or change their mind safely keeps these spaces welcoming and alive.

Consent is not about policing desire. It’s about making sure everyone gets to choose how close, how fast, and how far things go.