Asexuality

Asexuality (or “ace”) is a sexual orientation where someone experiences little to no sexual attraction. Some ace folks may be into romance, masturbation, cuddles, or relationships; others, not so much.
Still romantic? Could be.
Still fabulous? Always.

Cisgender

That moment when a doctor looks at a baby and announces “It’s a boy!” or “It’s a girl!”, and they are right!

Basically, when you’re in sync with your birth certificate!

Consent & Boundaries

Clear, enthusiastic, and ongoing agreement to anything involving your body; from a hug to a hookup.

Consent has to be freely given, never assumed, and you can take it back at any time.

Gender Identity

Your internal sense of who you are; a man, a woman, both, neither, or somewhere in between.

It might match the gender you were assigned at birth, or it might not.

It’s not always visible, but it’s very real. And no, it’s not something you just “decide one day”; it’s more like something you realize, name, and claim.

Intersex

Intersex people are born with sex traits (like chromosomes, hormones, or genitals) that don’t fit the typical “male” or “female” blueprint.

Nature didn’t make a mistake, it just got a little creative. Spice in the gender gumbo.

Masturbation

Masturbation is the act of exploring your own body for pleasure, solo style! It’s normal, healthy, and a great way to learn what feels good for you (and communicate that to others, if you want).

It’s not a “backup plan,” it’s self-care with better lighting. No shame, no myths; just you, your body, and maybe a playlist.

Outing

When you “out” someone, you are revealing someone’s identity or sexual orientation without their permission.

Coming out is a very personal experience and choice for a queer individual, and it should only be done when they’re ready.

Basically- outing is the opposite of a school outing! It is not joyful or educational, but it does take the power off an individual to open up in their own terms.

Sex Positivity / Negativity

Sex positivity is the belief that all consensual sexual activities are fundamentally healthy, as long as everyone involved is informed, enthusiastic, and into it. It promotes open conversations, respect for different desires, and ditching shame around bodies, pleasure, and intimacy.

In short: no judgment, no drama, just vibes, lube, and informed choices.

Sex negativity? All of the above, but the opposite of that!

Fisting

Fisting means inserting the whole hand (or most of it) into the vagina or anus for pleasure. It’s an intense, advanced kind of penetration that’s all about trust, communication, and lots of lube.

It should never hurt, tear, or feel forced. Start slowly with fingers, breathe, and only go deeper if everyone’s relaxed and enthusiastic.

Go slowly, keep talking, and use more lube than you think you need.

Fisting is about connection, not endurance. If it’s gentle, consensual, and everyone feels good, you’re doing it right.

Douching

Douching means rinsing out the vagina or anus with water or a special solution. People often do it because they think it makes them “cleaner,” but your body usually does a great job on its own.

For vaginas, douching is not recommended. It can upset your natural balance, cause irritation, or make infections more likely. Warm water on the outside is all you need.

For anal play, some people do a gentle rinse beforehand for comfort. The key word is gentle. Use lukewarm water, take your time, and never overdo it. Your body is not meant to be power-washed.

If it hurts, burns, or feels like too much, stop. Clean enough is enough. Your body is already pretty smart.

Foreplay

Foreplay is everything that happens before the penetration, although honestly, it is the main event for a lot of people. Kissing, touching, teasing, talking, grinding, undressing, laughing… anything that builds connection, arousal, and anticipation counts.

It’s not a checklist or a warm-up routine. Foreplay is how you tune into each other, learn what feels good, and let your bodies catch up with your brains. For many people, foreplay is where the pleasure actually starts.

Foreplay isn’t about getting somewhere fast. It’s about enjoying the journey, not speedrunning to orgasm.

Anal Sex

Anal sex is sexual activity involving stimulation or penetration of the anus. This can include fingers, toys, mouths, or a penis. Like all sex, it only counts if everyone involved wants to be there and feels comfortable.

Some people enjoy anal sex because the area has many nerve endings and can produce intense sensations. Others do not enjoy it at all. Both are completely normal. Anal sex is an option, not an expectation.

The anus does not self-lubricate, so using plenty of lubricant and going slowly is important. Relaxation, communication, and patience make a big difference in how it feels. Pain is not a requirement, and stopping is always okay.

Anal sex is not limited to any gender or orientation. Pleasure depends on the person, the context, and how safe and respected everyone feels.

Frottage

Frottage is sexual pleasure through rubbing bodies together rather than penetration. Think grinding hips, pressing bodies, rubbing genitals through clothes or skin-to-skin. If it feels intimate and intentional, it counts.

It’s a popular option because it can be deeply erotic without being intense or invasive. Frottage lets people control pressure, rhythm, and closeness, and it works for all genders and body types.

For some, it’s a warm-up. For others, it is the main event. Orgasms are optional. Connection is the point.

Slow movement, good communication, and paying attention to body language usually make it way more satisfying than rushing.

Group Sex

Group sex is any sexual experience involving more than two people at the same time. That can look like threesomes, foursomes, or larger groups, and it can involve a mix of touching, watching, participating, or switching partners.

For some people, group sex is exciting because of the shared energy, variety, or sense of connection. For others, it’s more about curiosity or fantasy. It’s also completely okay if it’s not your thing at all.

What matters most is communication. Everyone involved should know what’s happening, what’s off-limits, and feel comfortable speaking up or stepping back at any point. Clear consent, mutual respect, and aftercare are just as important here as in any other kind of sex.

Group sex is about choosing what feels right for you, in the moment, with people who respect your boundaries.

A-Spot

The A-spot, short for the anterior fornix, is a sensitive area deeper inside the vagina, near the cervix on the front wall. For some people, gentle pressure or deep stimulation there can feel very pleasurable and can increase natural lubrication.

Not everyone enjoys A-spot stimulation. For some it feels amazing, for others it’s neutral, and for some it’s uncomfortable. That usually just means the body needs more arousal, a different angle, or no attention there at all.

The A-spot isn’t something you have to reach or unlock. It’s just one possible pleasure zone among many. If it feels good, great. If it doesn’t, that’s perfectly fine too.

Tribbing/Scissoring

Tribbing, sometimes called scissoring, is a form of sex where partners rub their genitals together for pleasure, usually vulva-to-vulva. It’s about body-to-body contact, rhythm, and shared sensation rather than penetration.

Despite how it’s often portrayed in porn, tribbing isn’t a single position or a guaranteed orgasm machine. It can look like grinding, overlapping legs, pressing bodies together, or finding any angle that feels good. Comfort and creativity matter more than flexibility.

Some people love it, some don’t, and some enjoy variations rather than the classic “scissor” shape. All of that is normal. Like most sex, what works depends on the bodies involved and how relaxed and aroused everyone feels.

Communication, lube, and adjusting positions can make it more enjoyable. There’s no right way to do it, only what feels good for the people involved.

Performance Anxiety

Performance anxiety is the worry or pressure someone feels about how they will “perform” during sex. It can show up as overthinking, difficulty getting or staying aroused, trouble reaching orgasm, or feeling tense instead of present.

It often comes from fear of judgment, expectations learned from porn or past experiences, or wanting to please a partner too much. The more someone focuses on doing sex “right,” the harder it can be to actually enjoy what’s happening.

Performance anxiety is common and it doesn’t mean anything is wrong with your body or your desire. Slowing down, changing focus to sensation instead of outcome, and talking openly with a partner can help reduce the pressure.

Sex works best when it feels playful, relaxed, and allowed to be imperfect.

Responsive Desire

Responsive desire is when sexual interest grows in response to touch, closeness, or emotional connection, rather than appearing out of nowhere. Some people do not feel “in the mood” until something starts happening, and that is completely normal.

This kind of desire often shows up after kissing, cuddling, or gentle stimulation. It does not mean someone is less sexual or less interested. It just means their body needs a bit of input before desire switches on.

Understanding responsive desire can reduce pressure and misunderstandings in relationships. Wanting sex does not always look like instant arousal. Sometimes it starts with curiosity and grows from there.

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Assigned Male/Female at Birth (AMAB/AFAB)

That moment when a doctor looks at a baby and announces “It’s a boy!” or “It’s a girl!”, based on the sex and not your soul.

Spoiler: In the case of trans, and sometimes intersex, they guess wrong.
Still fantastic medical professionals,
but nobody is perfect!

Coming Out

Coming out refers to the process of disclosing one's sexual orientation or gender identity to others, a shortened version of the expression “coming out of the closet”.

So basically, coming out is the grand unboxing video of one’s true self; but instead of shoes or gadgets, it’s your authenticity.

Doxy-PrEP and Doxy-PEP

Doxycycline is an antibiotic that, when taken before (PrEP) or after (PEP) sex, can lower the chance of getting certain bacterial STIs like syphilis or chlamydia; especially useful for folks at higher risk.

It’s like an STI seatbelt. Not a magic shield, but a solid backup dancer in your safer sex routine.

Heteronormativity

The assumption that everyone’s straight and cisgender, and anything else is “different” or “unusual.” This idea shows up in laws, media, families, and awkward dinner conversations.

Think of it as society’s default setting; like factory-installed settings. But don’t worry, there are upgrades.

Kink

Kink refers to any consensual sexual interests, fantasies, or practices that go beyond what's considered “vanilla” or conventional. This could include power play, bondage, sensory play, roleplay, or a wide range of other activities. Kink is all about exploration, communication, and mutual respect; and it doesn’t require pain, leather, or a dungeon (unless you’re into that).

Basically: the “choose your own adventure” chapter of sex. It’s not weird, it’s custom. If it’s fun, safe, and consensual: welcome to the spice club!

Misgendering

Using the wrong pronouns or gender for someone. Whether it’s by mistake or on purpose, it’s not cute.

It’s like calling your friend “Steve” when their name is “Maria.” Awkward, and avoidable. Don’t be that person.

PEP (Post-Exposure Prophylaxis)

PEP is an emergency medication taken after a possible exposure to HIV (e.g., during sex, needle-sharing, or a condom break). It must be started within 72 hours of exposure (the sooner, the better) and is taken for 28 days to reduce the chance of infection.

The “oh shit” pill pack. Like a fire extinguisher for HIV; not for everyday use, but life-saving when you need it.

Sexual Orientation

This is about who you’re attracted to emotionally, romantically, sexually, or any combo of the three. Could be same gender, different gender, multiple genders, or no one at all.

It’s not a trend, it’s not a decision, it’s more like who you automatically look at twice in a coffee shop.

Pornography

Pornography is media created to show sexual scenes for arousal. It can be fun, exciting, imaginative, and a way to explore fantasies you might never try in real life. Porn can spark curiosity, teach you what turns you on, or just be entertainment for grown ups.

It’s important to remember that porn is more performance than reality. Bodies are edited, angles are staged, and no one shows the awkward pauses or negotiations that happen behind the scenes.

Real sex should always include things porn skips like consent, lube, communication, and comfort.

Oral Sex

Oral sex is using the mouth, lips, and tongue to stimulate someone’s genitals or anus. That can include licking, sucking, kissing, or gentle teasing, and it can be given, received, or shared in all directions. It counts as sex, even if clothes stay on or nobody orgasms.

For some people, oral sex is intimate and emotional. For others, it’s playful, horny, or just really fun. There’s no “right” way to do it. What matters is comfort, communication, and paying attention to how the other person responds.

Going slow, mixing things up, and checking in with sounds, breathing, or words usually works better than trying to copy something you’ve seen in porn. Real mouths need breaks, and real pleasure isn’t a performance.

A relaxed jaw, steady breathing through the nose, and remembering you’re allowed to pause or change pace can make the experience much more enjoyable for everyone involved.

Aftercare

Aftercare is the care, comfort, and attention people give each other after sex or an intense intimate experience. It’s about helping bodies and emotions settle, reconnect, and feel safe again.

Aftercare can look like cuddling, talking, drinking water, sharing a snack, holding hands, checking in, or simply lying quietly together. For some people it’s essential, especially after rough, emotional, or very intense sex. For others it’s subtle but still meaningful.

Sex doesn’t always end neatly when the clothes go back on. Hormones drop, feelings shift, and people can feel sensitive, floaty, or vulnerable. Aftercare helps close the moment gently and with care.

Good aftercare isn’t about doing something fancy. It’s about noticing each other and making sure everyone feels okay, grounded, and respected.

Erotic Imagination

Erotic imagination is the ability to experience arousal through thoughts, fantasies, memories, or scenarios, with or without physical touch. It’s the mental side of desire and can be just as powerful as physical stimulation.

Some people have a very vivid erotic imagination, while others experience desire more through touch, connection, or context. Both are normal. Fantasies don’t have to reflect real-life wants, morals, or plans. They are simply a way the mind explores pleasure.

Erotic imagination can support arousal, reduce pressure during sex, and help people understand what excites them, even if they never act on it.

Sensate Focus

Sensate focus is a way of exploring touch without pressure, goals, or expectations. Instead of trying to get aroused or reach orgasm, the idea is to slow down and pay attention to how touch actually feels in your body.

It usually starts with simple, non-sexual touch like hands on skin, backs, arms, or shoulders. Genitals are often off-limits at first. That’s on purpose. Removing the goal lets people relax, tune in, and rebuild trust with their body or with a partner.

Sensate focus is especially helpful if sex feels stressful, awkward, or disconnected. It helps shift attention away from performance and back to sensation, curiosity, and comfort.

You can do it solo or with a partner. There’s no right pace and no finish line. If something feels good, notice it. If it doesn’t, move on.

The point is not to achieve anything. The point is to feel.

Squirting

Squirting is the release of fluid from the urethra during sexual arousal or orgasm for some people with vulvas. It often happens with stimulation of the front vaginal wall, sometimes called the G-spot area, but not everyone experiences it, and that’s completely normal.

The fluid itself is mostly diluted urine mixed with other bodily fluids. That can sound surprising, but it’s not dirty, unhealthy, or something to be embarrassed about. It’s just one of the many ways bodies can respond to pleasure.

Some people squirt easily, some only occasionally, and many never do at all. None of these experiences are more “advanced” or better than the others. Squirting is not a goal, a requirement, or a measure of good sex.

If it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, nothing is missing.

O-Spot

The O-spot is a term some people use to describe pleasurable sensations that come from stimulating the deeper pelvic area, often near the cervix or the muscles around it. For some, this kind of stimulation can lead to intense, full-body orgasms. For others, it doesn’t feel particularly special at all.

The O-spot isn’t a specific organ or guaranteed pleasure button. It’s more about how the body responds to depth, pressure, and arousal in that area. Comfort, trust, and being properly aroused make a big difference.

If deep stimulation feels good, explore it slowly and gently. If it doesn’t, skip it. Pleasure isn’t about finding every “spot” your body has. It’s about listening to what actually feels right for you.

Toys

Sex toys are objects designed to enhance pleasure, whether you’re using them solo or with a partner. They can vibrate, provide pressure, add texture, or simply help you explore sensations in new ways. Toys are tools, not replacements for people, and using them doesn’t mean anything is missing.

There’s a huge range of sex toys, from vibrators and dildos to plugs, sleeves, and external stimulators. Some are designed for specific body parts, others are completely versatile. There’s no “correct” toy or level of experience required.

Using sex toys can help people learn what feels good, reduce pressure during partnered sex, support pleasure when bodies or abilities change, and add variety just for fun.

Cleaning your toys properly, using body-safe materials, and choosing the right lube all help keep things comfortable and safe.

Sex toys aren’t always about being adventurous or experienced. They’re about curiosity, comfort, experimenting and giving yourself permission to enjoy pleasure in your own way.

Gender Euphoria

Gender euphoria is the positive, affirming feeling that comes from being seen, treated, or experiencing your body in a way that aligns with your gender. It can feel like relief, joy, confidence, comfort, or a quiet sense of “yes, this is right.”

It might come from using the right name or pronouns, wearing clothes that feel right, being desired in an affirming way, or enjoying sex that matches how you experience your body. Sometimes it’s big and emotional. Sometimes it’s subtle and grounding.

Gender euphoria is a helpful reminder that being trans or gender-diverse isn’t only about discomfort or dysphoria. It’s also about pleasure, connection, and moments of feeling fully yourself.

Sexual Script

A sexual script is the set of ideas we learn about how sex is “supposed” to happen. Who starts it, what counts as sex, what comes first, what comes next, and what the ending should look like. These scripts come from culture, religion, media, porn, friends, and past experiences.

Many sexual scripts are very narrow. They often focus on penetration, orgasm, and specific gender roles. When real sex does not follow that script, people can feel confused, anxious, or like they are doing something wrong.

Understanding sexual scripts can be freeing. It helps people notice which expectations actually feel good and which ones do not fit their bodies, desires, or relationships. Sex does not have to follow a preset order to be satisfying.

You are allowed to write your own script, change it, or ignore it entirely. Sex works best when it reflects the people involved, not a formula.

Arousal Non-Concordance

Arousal non-concordance is when the body and the mind are not on the same page during sexual situations. Someone might feel mentally turned on without physical arousal, or their body might respond even when they are not interested.

This is very common and it happens to people of all genders. Physical responses are automatic and do not always reflect desire, consent, or enjoyment.

Knowing about arousal non-concordance can help reduce shame and confusion. A physical reaction does not mean someone wants sex, and a lack of physical response does not mean they do not. What matters is how someone actually feels and what they choose.

BDSM

An acronym for Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, Sadism & Masochism.

BDSM is a diverse range of erotic practices involving power dynamics, physical sensation, and emotional intensity. It's always rooted in clear, informed, and enthusiastic consent.

Basically: not just whips and chains (though sometimes sure, those too). Think of it like a trust fall... but with leather.

Chemsex

Chemsex refers to using certain drugs (like methamphetamine, GHB/GBL, or mephedrone) to enhance or extend sexual experiences; often among gay, bi, and queer men, though not exclusively. It can create intense connections, confidence, and pleasure, but also comes with real risks like addiction, dependency, loss of consent, health complications, or death.

It’s not about judgment; it’s about awareness. Know what’s in your mix, know your limits, and know you’re still worthy of care, even when things get messy.

Fetish

A fetish is like your brain’s quirky playlist for arousal; instead of just the ‘top 40’ hits of sex, it’s got some deep cuts, remixes, and oddly specific tracks that make it groove.

What sparks desire for one person might be leather, feet, or even someone whispering a word in a sultry tone.

It’s basically your erotic imagination putting on sunglasses and saying, “This is my jam.”

Internalized Homophobia / Transphobia

Internalised Queerphobia is a complex process where queer individuals unconsciously adopt and internalize negative societal attitudes and beliefs about their own sexual orientation or gender identity, leading to self-doubt, shame, and self-hatred.

A bit like, if society’s prejudice moves inside you rent-free, and you start believing the lies it told about people like you;
including yourself. This sometimes manifests in subtle ways.

LGBTQ+

LGBTQ+ stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer or Questioning, with the “+” acknowledging the many other identities that exist beyond these labels; like Intersex, Asexual, Pansexual, Non-binary, and more. It’s a term that celebrates the full spectrum of sexualities and gender identities.

It’s not just an acronym, it’s a full-on pride parade of human diversity. Come for the labels, stay for the community.

Non-binary

Non-binary is a gender identity that doesn’t fit exclusively into the categories of “male” or “female.” Some non-binary people feel like both, neither, or something else entirely. It’s valid, real, and diverse, and it can look and feel different for everyone.
Not “in between,” not “confused”; just vibing beyond the binary. Think gender on shuffle mode, not black-and-white.

PrEP (Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis)

PrEP is a medication taken by HIV-negative people to reduce the risk of getting HIV. When taken consistently (daily or as prescribed), it’s highly effective in preventing HIV transmission through sex or injection drug use. PrEP doesn’t protect against other STIs, so combining it with barrier methods (like condoms) is still recommended for broader protection.

Basically: your little blue bodyguard. It doesn’t judge who you sleep with or how; it just shows up on time and does its job like a boss.

STI (Sexually Transmitted Infection)

Infections that can be passed through sexual contact. STIs are super common and most are treatable, but you’ve got to test to know. No shame, just smart.

Your status isn’t a dirty secret, it’s just part of being a responsible adult. Like taxes, but with better excuses.

Edging

Edging is the art of getting yourself or a partner right to the brink of orgasm and then holding back. Think of it as pleasure with a pause button. You build the tension, ride the wave, stop just before the finish, then start again.

Some people edge once. Some make a whole evening out of it. There’s no wrong way, as long as it feels good and everyone’s enjoying the tease.

Why do it? Because it can make orgasms stronger, longer, and sometimes downright explosive. And because anticipation is sexy.

If you want to experiment with this, Go slow, breathe, and don’t rush the restart. The fun is in hovering at the edge, not sprinting to the end.

Deepthroating

Deepthroating is a type of oral sex where someone takes a penis further into the mouth and toward the throat. It is a skill that relies on relaxation, breathing, and going slowly, not on pushing past your limits. Some people enjoy the intensity or the feeling of closeness. Others do not like it at all. Both are valid.

If you choose to try it, communicate with your partner, listen to your body, and take breaks. Using lube, changing angles, and controlling the pace can make it more comfortable.

Deepthroating should never hurt or feel forced. Pleasure comes from comfort and consent, not pressure.

Pegging

Pegging is when someone uses a strap-on dildo to penetrate their partner. Pegging is about pleasure, curiosity, and flipping the usual script in a way that feels exciting for both partners.

Lots of people enjoy pegging because the anus is full of nerve endings, and for many men and AMAB folks, it can stimulate the prostate.

For others, it’s about power play, intimacy, or simply trying something new.

Fantasy vs Reality

Fantasy refers to imagined sexual scenarios that feel exciting or intriguing. Reality is what people actually want, consent to, and enjoy in real life. The two do not have to match.

Many people fantasise about things they would never want to experience in practice. This does not mean they secretly want it to happen. Fantasy is about imagination and sensation, not obligation or intent.

Understanding the difference between fantasy and reality can reduce shame and confusion. What matters in real life is consent, comfort, and choice, not what turns someone on in their head.

Polyamory

Polyamory is a relationship style where people have more than one romantic or sexual relationship at the same time, with everyone involved knowing about it and agreeing to it. Honesty, communication, and consent are the foundation.

Some people have one main partner and others on the side. Some have multiple relationships that matter equally. Some mix romance, sex, or deep emotional bonds in different ways. There’s no single structure that defines polyamory.

Polyamory isn’t about cheating or “not being able to commit.” It’s about choosing openness and care over secrecy. It also isn’t for everyone, and that’s okay.

What matters most is that the people involved feel respected, informed, and able to set boundaries that work for them.

G-Spot

The G-spot is a sensitive area on the front wall of the vagina, a few centimetres inside. For some people, pressure or stimulation there can feel deeply pleasurable and may lead to intense orgasms or squirting. For others, it doesn’t do much at all. Both experiences are completely normal.

It’s not a separate organ or a magic button. The G-spot is part of a larger network of tissue connected to the clitoris and the urethral sponge. That’s why it often responds better to steady pressure or a “come here” motion rather than fast rubbing.

Not everyone enjoys G-spot stimulation, and it’s not something you need to find or master. If it feels good, explore it. If it doesn’t, your body isn’t broken. Pleasure comes in many forms.

P-Spot

The P-spot is a term used to describe the prostate, a small gland found inside the body in many men and AMAB people. It sits a few centimetres inside the anus, toward the front of the body, and for some people it can be highly sensitive to pressure or stimulation.

When stimulated gently, the P-spot can create deep, intense sensations and sometimes lead to strong or full-body orgasms. For others, it feels neutral or uncomfortable. Both experiences are normal.

The P-spot is not a requirement for pleasure and not everyone enjoys anal stimulation. Comfort, arousal, relaxation, and plenty of lubrication make a big difference in how it feels.

People without a prostate can still enjoy anal pleasure, but the term P-spot specifically refers to prostate stimulation. Like all pleasure zones, it’s optional, personal, and only worth exploring if it feels right.

Cruising

Cruising is the practice of looking for sexual or intimate connections in public or semi-public places, often through eye contact, body language, or subtle signals rather than direct conversation. It has long been part of queer culture, especially for men, as a way to find connection in times and places where being openly queer wasn’t safe.

Cruising can happen in places like parks, beaches, bars, saunas, or clubs. Sometimes it leads to sex, sometimes to flirting, and sometimes to nothing at all. Not every interaction means participation, and walking away is always okay.

Consent still applies, even without words. Reading signals, respecting boundaries, and stopping when interest isn’t mutual are essential. Cruising should never involve pressure, harassment, or ignoring someone’s comfort.

For some people, cruising is about sex. For others, it’s about visibility, thrill, or community. Like many things in queer culture, it’s optional, historical, and deeply personal.

Gender Dysphoria

Gender dysphoria is the discomfort or distress someone may feel when their gender identity doesn’t align with how their body looks, how they’re perceived, or how they’re treated by others.

It can show up in many ways. For some people it’s about physical traits like chest, genitals, voice, or body hair. For others it’s social, like being misgendered, called the wrong name, or expected to act a certain way. It can be constant, situational, or come and go over time.

Not all trans or gender-diverse people experience gender dysphoria, and experiencing it doesn’t define someone’s worth or identity. It’s not a failure or a flaw. It’s a response to mismatch, not a problem with the person.

What helps can vary. For some, it’s changes in clothing, language, or presentation. For others, hormones, surgery, or simply being respected and affirmed. Everyone’s path is different.

Sexual Dysphoria

Sexual dysphoria is the discomfort or distress someone may feel during sexual situations when their body, how it’s touched, or how it’s talked about doesn’t align with how they experience their gender or sexuality.

It can show up as feeling disconnected from your body, anxious during intimacy, avoiding certain kinds of touch, or needing sex to happen in very specific ways to feel okay. For some people it’s constant. For others it comes and goes depending on the situation or partner.

Sexual dysphoria isn’t about being broken or difficult. It’s a signal that something needs more care, communication, or adjustment. Changing positions, language, lighting, pacing, or focus can make a big difference.

You’re allowed to set limits, ask for what you need, or stop altogether. Sex should feel affirming, not overwhelming.

Body Acceptance

Body acceptance is about recognising and respecting your body as it is, without needing to love it, fix it, or judge it. It means allowing your body to exist and be cared for, even on days when it feels unfamiliar, uncomfortable, or imperfect.

In a sexual context, body acceptance can make intimacy feel safer and more relaxed. When you are not constantly monitoring how your body looks or compares, it becomes easier to stay present and notice sensation, pleasure, and connection.

Body acceptance does not require confidence or positivity all the time. It is a practice of meeting your body with patience and kindness, and letting it be part of pleasure without needing to meet a standard.

Libido

Libido is a word used to describe someone’s level of sexual desire or interest in sex. It can be high, low, or somewhere in between, and it can change over time.

Many things can affect libido, including stress, hormones, health, medication, mental wellbeing, relationships, and life events. A low libido does not mean something is wrong, and a high libido does not mean someone is obsessed with sex. They are simply different experiences of desire.

There is no “normal” level of libido. What matters is understanding your own patterns and communicating them honestly with partners, so sex can happen in ways that feel comfortable and mutual.